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Sarah's Story
A True Story About Dealing with Depression 
It’s hard to put into words, but one day I realised that I just couldn’t do it any more – I felt so very low and I really didn’t know why. It was like I was in a thick fog and I couldn’t see my way through it.
I had very little energy and I would find it a struggle to get out of bed. Some weekends it would be an effort to get up at all. Appetite was another problem – it was real feast or famine stuff! I didn’t have much of an appetite but then I would go and binge out on chocolate (and the odd glass or two of wine) just to make myself feel better. Physically I felt awful and I just wasn’t taking care of myself – I used to take Max, my dog, for a walk every day but then that seemed just too hard. In fact, lots of things just seemed to be too difficult so I stopped going out with friends and family and eventually they started to leave me alone. I just lost interest in everything – work, the house, family, even my pottery. I used to belong to a weekend pottery club but I just stopped going. Every time I walked past my pottery wheel I would feel like a failure.
Then there was work! I used to make it there but I found it difficult to concentrate and remember things – it was really starting to affect my work and relationships with my work colleagues. I would find myself snapping at everyone and everything. I felt irritable and on edge all of the time. Indeed, I would always jump to the worst conclusions about everything. For example, my boss told me not to worry about some work that had to be done as James was going to finish it off. Immediately I thought “he thinks I can’t do it, he’s trying to get rid of me”.
When I look back on it, it was like I was sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand. It was only when things really got bad and my family insisted I see someone that I found out it was depression. Looking back I wish I had done something sooner but I guess that is the wisdom of hindsight. Nonetheless, with the help of the On Track program I am far more confident of my skills and abilities for staying free of depression. Life is looking good, Max is fitter and I just got a commission to exhibit my pottery at a local gallery
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